Branding > Boring

I attended a music business seminar recently, hosted by Ariel Hyatt and Michael Whalen. It was super informative, and even fun. (I try to go into events like this with no expectation, but definitely did not count on fun!) At the end of the day, Ariel asked us all to write a guest blog post if we were willing.

So I did.

The link to the post is here, and I hope that you find it informative and helpful. Basically, I just wanted to share about how I realized that branding is not boring.

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The other thing that I learned that day? My mom & dad taught me well.

There was a rule in our house after our birthdays and holidays. Before we could play with any gifts that we had received, we had to write a thank you note. It became such a part of our ritual that my brother and I would oftentimes start the thank you note ahead of time...

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Dear Grandma,

Thank you so much for the...

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We figured that it would give us a jump start after the gift had been opened.

So, true to what I've learned, I sent Ariel and Michael thank you notes. I learned a lot from the seminar, and they offered it for free! How generous and supportive! I wanted them to know that I felt so grateful.

Both of them emailed me to let me know how rare it is for them to get thank you notes in the mail. And thanked me for thanking them.

If snail mail and thank you notes are your thing - embrace it! People are happy to hear from you, and to know that they've helped you. And remember - the world and folks around you don't owe you anything... Be. Grateful.

Just wanted to add that little bit. :)

The Self-Doubt Monster

Friends, I have been wallowing. I won’t lie to you - I gave in to self-pity this weekend, and it has been terrible. I feel like a weak-minded idiot who can’t control her own thoughts.

This weekend I had to cancel two shows that I had been looking forward to for months. For those of you who know me - booking agents and audience members - you know that I rarely cancel shows. I think I can count the number of cancelled shows I’ve had on one hand.

I always work things out and figure it out, and the show always goes on.

I had surgery last week. It was outpatient, and it was not serious. I took these words to heart, and pushed myself pretty hard to get back on my feet afterward.

Mistake.

I ended up having some pain and complications as a result, which made traveling, carrying gear, and holding a guitar while standing and singing incredibly unrecommended.

I love performing, I love singing, and I love connecting. It energizes and exhausts me at the same time. So to miss out on any opportunity - well, I was upset.

I went through a few years without performing around 2005. They were not so much fun. And I remember this feeling.

I came back to recording/performing/writing knowing that I have to be here. I have to create music to exist. I guess it’s in my DNA.

Canceling shows this weekend meant that I had to head home to my couch. I was forced to stay there and rest, and it was really hard. It sounds ridiculous and it sounds like pouting, but I was so disappointed.

I am usually described as an optimist, people notice my inner joy - and that’s truly who I am. And for some reason - my inner optimist was dealt a little blow this weekend. It was a small flashback to how I felt in 2005.

I wish I had used this weekend as an opportunity to write a bunch of new material, or answer emails, or write thank you notes for my birthday presents - to catch up - that’s what optimistic, driven, Kristen would have done.

Instead I used it to do puzzles, watch TV, and wallow. I did what 2005 Kristen would have done.

Of course, we’re all allowed a break - we need them, but for some reason, this ‘forced break’, really had me feeling…down.

And during this wallowing, the self-doubt monster set to work in my brain. What a jerk that thing is. My head was filled with nasty thoughts.

“You didn’t deserve those shows anyway.”“What kind of musician cancels at the last minute?”“Do you really think you’re good enough to share the stage with ______?” (insert any name of any hero here) “You’re a phony - no one believes your songs.”

Good times.

Anyway - I’m writing this not to make you feel bad for me, or hope that you’ll take pity on me.

I’m writing this because the cloud is lifting and the fog is clearing. And you know what that means?

My confidence is back.

I work my butt off to book great shows, write great songs and share stories. And I’m worth it.

That’s right - I’m worth it. I deserve the success that I have. I love what I do, and work hard every day to become a better musician, singer, performer and human.

The great thing about this clarity?

I’m back to my optimistic, hopelessly naive self, who believes in the good in everyone and sees the potential in all.

So - here’s my message to you today: you’re worth it.

You’re worth it.

You’re worth it.

Be grateful, be kind, and be yourself...it's who the world needs you to be. And please remember, you're worth it.

Have a great week, Kristen

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Doggie Blog Day!

Updated at 6:25: The list has spoken - thanks to you all for comments and emails! The winners (I couldn't pick just one!) are the Dancing Doggies and Mr. Jordan & Doggie Jordan! Honorable mentions: Cuddle Buddies and Abby & Marley.

Shoot me your addresses and tshirt sizes at: kristen@kristengraves.com!!

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As many of you know, my sweet Chip (he’s ok, and on the mend!) was hit by a car at the end of the summer.

I’m so happy that he’s ok!

He’s made many appearances at shows, on Facebook, on Instagram, he’s pretty much everywhere that I am. He’s been on tour with me throughout the country (he’s been to a LOT of states), he’s spent summers with Simply Smiles on the Cheyenne River Reservation- this dog has no shortage of life experiences.

If only he could write a book…

Anyway, I post a lot of silly pictures of Chip. I love to pose him in shirts, or with funny hats, he endures, and I laugh.

So, to celebrate Chip’s recovery - I have challenged all of you to send me your best funny/cute/weird puppy pictures, and the response has been amazing!

Here I’ve included some of my favorites, and I don't know what I was thinking when I said I'd choose the winner. I have some ideas, but am having a hard time choosing (I don't even like to decide what to eat for lunch!) so - I'm open to suggestions!

Leave comments here, send me an email: kristen@kristengraves.com, leave comments on Facebook, twitter or instagram, and I'll announce the winner tonight before my show in New Paltz!

And thanks for all of the photos - this was really fun.

Chip leaving his mark
Chip leaving his mark
bearded pup
bearded pup
Kerri's dog
Kerri's dog
Toby and Lady
Toby and Lady
Buddy
Buddy
Billy
Billy
Charlotte
Charlotte
Belle
Belle
Abby and Marley
Abby and Marley
Karma
Karma
Wendy's dog
Wendy's dog
Dancing dogs
Dancing dogs
Debi's dog
Debi's dog
Xena & Disney
Xena & Disney
Dexter
Dexter
Doggie Jordan
Doggie Jordan
Avery
Avery
Cookie
Cookie
Quesa
Quesa
Maggie
Maggie
Gabby
Gabby
Charlotte's dog
Charlotte's dog
Sandy
Sandy

I hope you had as much fun looking through the photos as I did - now - help me pick a winner! Use the caption or description in the comments below, or email me your choice!

We'll definitely be doing this again - maybe for Halloween?

Thanks for sharing, Kristen

Family

I talk about this idea a lot- the idea of chosen family. Spending time with people that you love whether you're linked legally/genetically/adoptively/etc- that's your family. So some people are your family and some people are your chosen or soul family. It's all good. It's all family.

What's so cool in my family, is that I choose them!

We're cut from the same proverbial cloth.

So Friday night, when five of my flights on two different airlines were cancelled, and I was faced with either canceling two shows or driving through the night to make it on time- guess who made the roadie with me??

Good ole mom and dad.

And it's been an adventure.

We've had a lot of laughs, there's been some backseat driving, and we've mastered the most efficient way to swap drivers/get gas/use the restroom.

And as a team- as a chosen and born family, we've made a road trip in 16 hours, that requires well...16.5.

And arriving at gig #1 for the day, Gaby was there with a list of things that I was hoping to have time to prepare (which is why I was flying in a day early, United & American) but didn't. Life-saving.

I made it to the CT Folk Fest stage with five minutes to spare- with a lot of hugs and a lot of, 'I can't believe you made it!', and just as we started, the rain joined in...

So after a brief rain delay, we played our set- and I had to take off for my next adventure.

We drove through the rain to Teaneck, NJ, where I was playing a Pete Seeger Tribute at the Puffin Foundation. With only slight rain delays, I pulled up to the door, walked in, and got started- yet another perfectly timed entrance.

Did I mention that we're driving back to Wisconsin...today??

So my family rocks. I am so lucky and so grateful. And I hope I get to return these favors.

Love to you and yours, Kristen

5 am. Somewhere in Ohio!

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Made it!!

SeegerFest = HopeFest

I have been talking about SeegerFest for over a month. I’ve been processing the opportunity that I was given, and I’ve been sharing stories with folks one by one…all trying to figure out how to write about it. I’ve spent the last month on the Cheyenne River Reservation - a place with a big sky, and working with people who have big hearts.

Last week, my friend Glenn Roth was here. He’s a finger style guitar player, and the kids in music camp really loved hearing him play.

It was a week filled with music. Glenn and I have played together for years, and what made our live performances out here more special is that we were joined by our friend Tiokasin Ghosthorse - a traditional Lakota flute player. We had a blast. We played my songs, we played old folk songs, we played 80’s rock songs - we played it all.

And we played every day, whether it was an informal jam session in our music tent or a performance for the town, we played because we wanted and needed to.

And that feeling, that amazing feeling that comes when you’re all in synch, and the music is flowing between each person playing, and passes out into the audience who may be singing along, and is fully engaged - that feeling of truly sharing a moment…

That was the feeling I got to enjoy all week, and at the end of the week it dawned on me: That was how it felt to be at SeegerFest.

Amazing things happened while I was at SeegerFest -

- I got my name in the New York Times as a member of ‘the new generation of folk singers’.

- Peter Yarrow (of Peter, Paul & Mary fame) told me that my performance at Lincoln Center was ‘spectacular’.

- I got to sing at all five days of the festival- Lincoln Center, Hudson River Park, Hunts Point Park, the Bardavon Opera House and SummerStage in Central Park.

- I shared the stage with tons of amazing people: Peter Yarrow (Peter, Paul & Mary), Fred Hellerman (The Weavers), Dar Williams, Guy Davis, Tom Chapin & The Chapin Sisters, David Amram, Adira & Alana Amram, Emma’s Revolution, Kim & Reggie Harris, Mike & Ruthy, The Owens Brothers, Amanda Palmer, James Maddock, Aurora Barnes, and many many other wonderful performers.

- I made friends with amazingly talented people who I’ll stay connected with throughout my career and life.

- Most importantly - I participated in a festival where egos were put aside and people were happy to simply make music and celebrate an amazing man and the folk music movement.

This idea of singing for something other than furthering your career, is how I’ve always felt you should approach each gig.

Unfortunately, there are times when I’m working with folks who are very clearly seeing a show, or sometimes me, as a step on the ladder. People get so focused on numbers - how many people are listening, how many cds/tickets/t-shirts/facebook likes do I have, that they forget that it’s about the music.

Spending time at SeegerFest with musicians confident enough to realize that it’s all about the music, and spending time out here on the Cheyenne River Reservation with selfless musicians like Tiokasin and Glenn who live for the music, made me realize that to spend time in this environment, I need to create this environment.

I need to demand this environment.

The feel at SeegerFest and our shows on the Reservation (which I’m now calling HopeFest) was so positive, so encouraging, and so hopeful because nothing else was getting in the way.

I will be pursuing that same feeling of joy, purpose and love at every single show of mine from now on.

I’ve always pushed for it - but I’ve never been able to clearly define and articulate what I’ve been trying to create until today.

I thank SeegerFest for that, and I thank the Cheyenne River Reservation for that.

And of course, this all goes back to Pete Seeger. A new friend. A man who met a young folk singer, and spent one of his remaining hours with her. I’ve been told by folks that Pete didn’t play games and he didn’t sit with fools. At SeegerFest, one of his dear friends told me, ‘if Pete took the time to sit with you, it’s because he saw something in you.’

And for that, I'm grateful.

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