Why Ed Graves is awesome.

Here is a list (an incomplete list) of why my father, Ed Graves, is absolutely awesome. He used to do chores off of my list in exchange for piano songs.

He taught me how to water ski.

He makes jokes that no one understands.

He taught me how to create and stick to a family budget (he is an accountant after all).

When I came home with new songs after my first year of college he shook his head and told me 'you're gonna make it.'

When I introduced him to Bryan, he couldn't wait to tell me what a 'nice fellow' he was.

When I obsessively started going to Mexico during college to volunteer at Casa Hogar, he supported me every. single. time.

When any other female artist comes on the radio he exclaims that they're not as good as I am and promptly puts in one of my CDs.

He's a fantastic organic gardener.

We are the only two people left who call my brother David.

He loves country music. Especially the old stuff.

He drives a John Deere tractor.

He has run marathons.

He watches crime shows with me.

He did not get upset when I balked at the idea of being 'given away' at my wedding. Even though I'm his only daughter. And loved the idea of us walking down the aisle as a family, after Bryan walked down with his mother as a family.

He sent me a piece of mail every day when I was in college. Usually with a few $ inside for a cookie.

He shares my insane love for popcorn.

He not only puts up with my crazy dreams, but thinks they're perfect and absolutely attainable.

He is the nicest and cutest registered Republican in the world. The party could and absolutely should learn a lot from him. Though he's now joined the Just Be Nice Party, so they've missed out.

He has a refrigerator full of beer and wine. And stocks it when I'm coming for a visit.

He loves bonfires, and might be a pyromaniac (in a good way).

He loves the water and walking on the beach with his daughter.

Love you dad. Have a happy birthday. I wish I was there. K

 

Graduation Day!

So here's the thing... I stirred the pot a little bit a few weeks ago when I posted my 'Do You Want to Have Kids?' blog. I didn't really mean to create a ruckus. Ok, maybe I did. But, I honestly thought that I was in my own little world of believing in 'chosen family'.

So here we go again.

You know how people say you can't choose your family? I totally disagree. Yes, I have a crazy aunt or two, or seven, and I didn't choose them, but I find them awesome. In addition to them, I've added a few people that I think were meant to be my family.

One of them is Gaby.

For those of you who don't know our story, Gaby and I met in 2001 at the Casa Hogar Children's home in Oaxaca, Mexico. When we met, I thought we were roughly the same age (not even close, I was 19 and she was 12…) because we were fast friends.

We shared a lot of chores and projects together and she helped me with my Spanish every day. As the years went on and she was in high school, she helped Bryan and I with a meal program in the city dump. In fact, she took over delivering meals to the families while we were in the states. All the while, never falling behind on her homework, and always taking care of the girls she was responsible for.

Around the same time Gaby was getting ready to graduate from high school Bryan was looking to launch a Simply Smiles scholarship program, offering a chance to exceptional students to move to the states and pursue a college education. Gaby was the no-brainer first choice.

Five years ago, Gaby moved in with us, and after rocking the intense ESL program (which isn't true, English is actually her third language - not that I'm bragging or anything...) at Norwalk Community College, Gaby graduated with her associate's degree in business last week.  Almost five years to the day from when she arrived in the country for the first time not speaking a word of English.

I'm so proud.

I'm so happy that Gaby and I have chosen each other as family.

My house doesn't resemble a lot of other homes, but those of us who live in it (five people and one dog) know that in our own weird way, we are our own family.

Congratulations, Gaby.

Ohm.

There is a yoga class that I love to take. It's at 9:30 on Thursday mornings. (In Westport if you'd like to join me!) It's relaxing to start, kills me somewhere in the middle, reminds me that flexibility is fun, inspires me to try head stands, and then relaxes me again at the end.

I leave a bit of a sweaty mess, but feel amazingly clean, and really peaceful.

I want this peace for so many people. It's why I thought bringing yoga mats to the reservation would be a good idea. It's why I annoy Bryan to come to classes with me (I've succeeded exactly once.)

In these moments, right after leaving class, I find empathy for evangelists and fundamentalist Christians. I've met and dealt with a lot of born-again missionaries through the work that I love to do with Simply Smiles. We agree on certain things and disagree on most others.

But if what they feel about religion is as peaceful as I feel when leaving this yoga class, I can almost understand a bit better.

Replacing one hot topic with another...

I think that all world leaders need to get into yoga. And I think it will change the world. And maybe end a war or two, or all.

Peace and Just Be Nice!

(A pretty tree for you to peacefully daydream in...)

Connecticut State Troubadour!

I am so excited that for 2013-2014 I am the Connecticut State Troubadour!

'Uh, Kristen, what is that?'

It's basically the equivalent of a state's poet laureate, just a music version.

'What are you going to do?'

My responsibility is to promote the arts throughout Connecticut, and to represent Connecticut in song.

'What's next?'

I'm not sure. I'm thinking something along the lines of promoting Just Be Nice. I want to spend time and energy connecting artists of all ages with worthy service projects. I'm thinking that I could reach out to school art groups, as well as artists throughout the state. We can make a lot of good happen!

What do you think I should do?

P.S. click below to hear my CT song!

Do you want to have kids?

'Do you want to have kids?' Man, if I had a nickel for every time someone asked me that question.

If I may make a few observations...

1- I get asked that question all of the time.  Bryan is rarely asked that question.

2- So personal!

Now, about my responses.  I usually respond one of two ways:

1- 'No.' (no follow up, I just leave it at that and don't offer any additional information…)

2- I make a joke, and say something along the lines of, 'I already have hundreds of kids!'  Because of Simply Smiles, and because I don't offer any more conversation, that usually ends things.

Then people usually respond with something condescending like, 'oh, you're just not ready', or 'you'll change your mind.'

So, why am I getting cranky about this question today?  Because I'm thinking of the kids on the reservation.  Bryan, Zach, Sam, Josh, my brother and my friend, Jamie are all on the Cheyenne River Reservation, and I'm not.  And I miss the kids terribly.

And I know, I know - these kids aren't my kids.  But they are.  

Both in Mexico and in South Dakota, I have so many children that I know and love and care for.  It's a non-traditional life to say the least, and it's a different definition of family, and yet - I wouldn't have it any other way.

When Gaby graduates from Norwalk Community College on May 23, I will be cheering in the stands and taking as many pictures as she'll allow.  I couldn't be more proud of her than if she were my own.

When Juanita taught herself chess because she needed a new hobby during the long South Dakota winter, I choked up at her ambition.

When Nacho whips out his guitar at Casa Hogar and we play songs together - I tear up every time, and I can't wait to see what he's going to accomplish.

And when we lost our dear friend Tanner to suicide, it broke - shattered - my heart.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, cry for him and give thanks for him.

These kids are mine.

I didn't birth them, they have more family than just me, but they're my family just the same.

So that's my long answer.  And today - missing the kids on the reservation, I sang this song for them.

Enjoy your family today.  In whatever way you design 'family' to mean.

Love, Kristen